I had a dream last night that bummed me out when I woke up. Then it came true about 15 minutes ago.
Girl: *shoots me a smart-ass smirk*
Me: What do you want?!
Me: What’s that supposed to mean?
Girl: You know what it means. *walks away*
These thoughts just won’t go away. I can’t spend any time by myself or I become so angry, and so upset. I take everything said, and twist it in my own mind because I imagine the worst. I ended up walking home from work throwing parking signs into the street, and breaking them over bike racks. I punched a bunch of shit, spit on someone’s car, and tipped over some newspaper stands.
I hate feeling like this all the time.
I hate that she doesn’t love me back.
I hate that I can’t move past it.
I hate myself.
I feel sick to my stomach…
I want to jump from the top of my apartment building…
I want to channel all my sadness into getting tattooed.